


Gary's confessions

by ravenadottir



Series: Rennell [2]
Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:41:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23584771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenadottir/pseuds/ravenadottir
Relationships: Chelsea/Gary (Love Island), Gary/Hannah (Love Island), Gary/Lottie (Love Island), Gary/Main Character (Love Island)
Series: Rennell [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105484
Comments: 11
Kudos: 55





	1. The first 17 days

Day 6 – After the Welcome Party for Lucas and Henrik

Gary walks in, looking a little deflated. As he takes his seat on the couch, he stares at the camera, clearly bothered.

His face crumples, but he tries his best to look natural and alright, as he’s been doing for the past few days.

"Alright… this one…" He takes the first card. “How are you feeling about the new boys?”

As soon as Gary finishes reading it, his lips perch and his eyes search for every corner of the room, except for the camera.

"I think… I don’t quite know, to be honest…"

He runs his fingers in his hair, laughing weakly.

"Clearly, us, the lads, will have tough competition… but it is what it is, right? That’s the game… I guess… and that Lucas guy, he’s bold. Saying that stuff to her, in front of Bobby? That’s rich…"

His eyes fall on the next card, as he picks it up.

“How do you feel in your couple? Is there anything you’d change?”

He chuckles sadly at the end of the sentence.

"I… I don’t think Marisol is really into me… and I was talking to one of the girls, she told me there’s no spark… from Marisol. As in… you know… she doesn’t feel it!"

A small smile fights its way to spread across his lips, but he fights back.

"I don’t feel alright with Marisol either, but I think saving her was the right thing. I couldn’t see myself with someone like Hannah…"

He covers his mouth, his eyes widen. "I don’t mean she’s not a good gal, it’s just…"

He stutters, trying to remediate the situation.

"She was alright…erm… I mean, she was a nice girl… it’s just…" Gary facepalms, his cheeks flushing rapidly, as he puts the card aside.

"I was… just trying to say that we wouldn’t work out as a couple. We’re too different…"

He grips the next card and it makes him smile fondly. “Is there anyone in the Villa you feel a connection with? Do you wanna pursue it?”

He keeps eyeing the paper, over and over, his smile growing as he reads it multiple times, to himself.

"I… yes… there is…" he rubs his forehead, feeling the heat all over his face. "Oh, damn… it’s… really hot in here…"

He pinches the collar of his t-shirt, agitating it to fan himself, avoiding the camera again, staring at his thighs.

"I just missed the opportunity… someone else picked her before I could… but it’s cool. Bobby is a close mate, and I don’t think he knew I wanted to pick her…"

He shuts his eyes, fanning himself even harder, after reading the next question.

“What can you tell us…” his voice cracks, and he clears his throat. "Sorry… “what can you tell us about the sneaky kisses you had so far?”"

He sucks air in, trying not to look too anxious and scratches the back of his neck, looking at the card.

"I must say… I felt a little… how do you say it?"

He thinks for a couple of moments, then snaps his fingers.

"Shady! I felt shady by doing that behind Bobby’s back… but I couldn’t help it… "

He grins, with brows raised. "I don’t think she could, either…"

His grin is wide, as his whole face lights up. He raises his index finger.

"In my defense, she kissed me first… in the gym..."

Gary’s eyes fall on the table in front of him. Suddenly, he’s lost for words.

"I just wish I could’ve picked her first… but… mate, I don’t know. She’s the only one in here who gets me… she’s quite the girl, and I can’t guarantee it won’t happen again."

He chuckles. "She’s not feeling it with him, you know… but she said she’s into me… and… I’d be stupid to not like her back, mate!"

His voice becomes more serious as he holds the card.

"As for Lottie… that was a mistake. It didn’t mean anything… I was just trying to comfort her… and I’m not gonna lie, she’s a beautiful girl, but… I don’t feel there’s something there."

He places the card on the table, and as the screen turns green, he gets up to leave, waving and smiling, looking more relaxed.

~~

Day 7 – Gary arrives in the Beach Hut for his special prize, since he won the Mr. Love Island contest.

He’s wearing nothing but the red speedo, the sash and the tiara… and a big grin on his lips.

As the screen turns on, his nan stares at him, for a moment, with wild eyes.

"Oh, good gracious, Gary!" she covers her mouth, laughing.

"Looking good, pillock…!" Dicky appears quickly in the shot, draping an arm on nan’s shoulder.

"Oh shush, Dicky!! So… tell me… what’s all that about?" she points to his body, looking directly in his grandson's eyes.

"Well… you’re looking at Mr. Love Island!" he quickly adjusts his sash, taking a seat in front of the screen.

"And what the hell is that?" Dicky’s voice is sarcastic and uninterested.

"Well… it’s like a talent show…"

A surge of energy invades Dicky’s face, along with the biggest grin Gary has ever seen on his friend.

"Please!" Dicky joins his hands in a prayer motion. "Please, tell me you did the onion thing! Please! I never asked you anything! Please, tell me you were standing there and biting into a raw fucking onion!"

With a grin, Gary raises his eyebrows suggestively, making them dance.

"Oh, my god! And you won?" Dicky can’t contain his almost-laughter. "I’m beginning to think these girls have some serious issues! you might not leave single, after all!"

"That they do… remember that girl, Laurie?" Nan nudges him, laughing.

"Her name is…" Dicky stops himself "Never mind, who cares?"

"So… what do you think, nan?" Gary’s enthusiasm is pouring out of him.

"You do look very handsome, Gare!" nan claps once, excitedly.

"Yeah…" Dicky snaps his fingers. "Handsome! That was the word I was looking for! Obviously!"

Greta stares at Dicky for a moment, and he quickly shuts up. Afterwards, she continues.

"So, tell me! How is everything going? Given the…"

"Oh, you know how it is…"

Dicky nods to Gary, who nods back. He mouths “are you alright?”, Gary simply nods, some sadness appearing in his eyes, but he manages to shake it off quickly. dicky doesn't look too convinced, but stays quiet.

After a few minutes of Gary getting both, his nan and Dicky, up to speed, the small screen below flashes, warning him to wrap it up.

"Guys, I have to go… but it was…" His eyes start to water, but he wipes under them right away. "It was really cool seeing you two."

"You two, honey! And do me a favor?" nan’s voice goes a little darker. "Please, if you need to, don’t be afraid to talk to someone in there… you know, about your..."

"Yeah… just… stay alright… wanker!" Dicky tries to contain his emotions, almost not being able to.

"I will… don’t worry." Gary raises his hands, touching the screen where nan is. "I miss you, nan..."

Nan blows him a kiss, waving and getting up. Dicky takes this opportunity to talk one on one, quickly.

"It was… fine seeing you…" Dicky's tone is unbothered.

"Right!" Gary mocks him, by perching his lips. "I miss you too, mate!"

"Yeah, whatever!" he drops his voice to a whisper, tilting his head to the side, winking. "Hey, Gare… that girl… you know the one…"

"Yeah, I know…" His cheeks flush, showing a dimple as he smiles.

"Talk to her… whenever you need to… she's... she's alright. And she's the one you should trust…" He then gets closer to the camera. "Also…?"

"Yeah, dicky?"

"Don’t come back before you have to!" he points a menacing finger to his camera back home.

"Don’t worry! I won’t!"

"And if you’re not bringing her home, then there’s no point of staying in there, do you hear me?"

Dicky finishes his sentence with a cheeky wink, and the screen fades, going green.

Gary gets up from the small couch, adjusting his tiara and sash, preparing himself to go, but glances back at the camera one more time, smiling softly.

~~

Day 8 – All is happening, as Rocco and one of the new boys might be leaving tonight.

As Gary takes the seat, he goes straight to the stack of cards, picking one up, without any greetings.

"Alright… “How are you feeling about the Marisol/Rocco situation?”" he perches his lips before speaking. "I’m not feeling much, honestly… I knew Marisol and I wouldn’t work it out… and that’s cool… I’ve done some stuff too. There’s no point of trying to pin anything on her, since I’ve been doing the same, I guess…"

He sighs deeply.

"As for Rocco… I don’t know… I don’t wanna seem bitter… but trying with every girl, just to stay in the game? Can’t say I pity him, honestly… he brought this on himself. And the fact that Bobby and Noah, the most optimistic, bubbly people in the world, agree with me, there’s nothing left to say."

Gary takes a couple of deep breaths, his face warm and red.

"Sorry… it’s just… unfair… after everything that went down, if he doesn’t go home today, the public must be watching a different show…"

He tosses the card on the table, grabbing the next one, but takes a minute, before reading it.

“Since the girls were the ones to decide who amongst the boys are boyfriend material, who amongst the girls…” He pauses, with a discreet smile. “… do you think it’s girlfriend material?”

He exhales sharply from his mouth, chuckling and placing the card on the table.

"Isn’t that obvious?" He glances to the camera, smirking. "Do I need to spell her name?"

He lowers his brows, with a sarcastic grin, staring at the camera.

"There’s only one girl in here I care about, and it’s pretty obvious who that girl is. Y’all know her name, mates…"

He gives the camera a cheeky wink, already with a new card in hand. His expression goes a little more serious.

“How are the Islanders reacting to the Tweet Challenge, and the revealing information?”

A loud whistle comes from his lips. "Oh… wow! Straight to the jugular!"

He scratches his brow, shifting on his seat, clearly bothered.

"As for me and Lottie kissing, after Hannah left, like I said before… it was a mistake, and now people here know about it. No one is really reacting, because the only person that makes a big deal about everything is involved… and guilty…"

He shrugs.

"Lottie is not saying anything… she’s pretending nothing happened, still on her high horse, and I don’t understand why."

He glances at the card. "As for the rest… people are kind reserved with Bobby… and Hope… but for the sake of the peace in the Villa, some of us are trying not to make a big deal about it."

Preparing himself to leave, he sees the green light flashing, just waving and closing the door.

~~

Day 12 – The day following Girls’ choice, Operation Nope and the arrival of Jakub and Chelsea

Gary enters, rubbing his palms together, visibly excited.

"Hi, mates!"

He grabs the first card, smiling widely. "First question… “How are you feeling in your couple after the last recoupling?”"

Exhaling from his mouth, and chuckling, he places the card on the table. Next, he points to his lips, beaming at the camera.

"Like this…" His dimples go deeper as he tries to stop himself from smiling, but it’s clearly a tough task. "And you know… finally, I got to be with her again… finally…"

He grazes his fingertips on his beard, bringing them towards his mouth, still with a big grin.

"I just feel things are going to be alright… you know what I mean? On track… it was really nice sharing the bed with her again…"

He covers his eyes. "The Hideaway was… ya know…"

He glances at the corners of the Beach Hut, and his cheeks turn red. The public at home could’ve sworn they heard a soft chuckle, but not from Gary.

The next card makes him twist his lips.

“How are the Islanders dealing with the aftermath of Operation Nope?”

He whistles under his breath. "Not – good. I’ll tell you that much… it’s like… I’m trying to stay away, because it doesn’t concern me… but Noah is a mate, so we’re trying to make things feel more… at ease… it’s not working so well, but we’re trying…"

He places the card, picking up the next one, but before reading it, he continues.

"It’s tough on everyone involved… but I do think it was shady of Bobby and Priya… then again… I can’t be the one to talk." he takes a deep breath. "We all made some mistakes here… Me, Marisol, Lottie, Rocco… my girl… but it was all forgiven… I only hope that Hope will forgive Priya and forget about this."

Moving on to the last one, he pauses before reading it out loud.

"“How are you feeling about the new arrivals?” oof… last night was full on… Chelsea told everyone, she confirmed what everyone was already thinking… I just… it’s not for me, d’ya know what I mean? The drama, the fights… and we have to play the peacemaker!" he points to the door with his thumb. "Like, my girl and I couldn’t even spend any time together today because she’s trying to fix the whole thing… Priya and Lottie, Lottie and Chelsea… I just… I can’t…"

He winces, shaking his head, but keeps talking about the matter.

"I know I should’ve said something, but what am I gonna say? If you believe me, you believe me, and if you don’t… well..."

He shrugs.

"… you don’t. Chelsea did nothing wrong. People outside already knew, so… it is what it is. And as for Jakub… jeez… I went to the laundry room… he was ironing his socks… and I’m gonna leave it there! You all draw to your own conclusions."

With a laugh, he looks at the camera, picking up the fourth and final card.

"“Why did you keep the kiss with Lottie in secret? Did you think about telling anyone? If yes, who?”"

Gary’s eyes run on the card, multiple times, before he places it on the table, scratching his eyebrow.

"I thought about… telling someone. But I didn’t know… you know… how they’d react. If I told Noah or Ibrahim, I’d never hear the end of it. Noah would probably tell Hope, and she’d blow everything out of proportion… Ibrahim would probably tell Bobby or Priya…"

He takes a deep breath, this time, scratching his beard, going down to his neck.

"Bobby… it’s not that I don’t trust him with a secret… it’s just… he’d tell her… and I wanted to tell her myself…"

His fingers go on his arms, as he continues scratching, this time, his shoulder.

"I just… when I thought it was the right time to tell her, the secret was out… she didn’t even ask me about it… never even questioned me."

He furrows his brows, now with his hands tucked between his knees. His legs twitch from time to time.

"She just… after that tweet challenge, she went to claim her prize… sat in the jacuzzi… and never asked me about it. I figured she was either too mad or…"

He pauses, frowning. "Too disappointed…"

He exhales, tilting his head to the side, shaking it.

"I never mentioned it because Lottie was… making everything difficult for her… like, she was guilt tripping her because she was gonna pick me. I don’t rate that. I’m not Lottie’s… never was. And she had no right to do that. But I don’t… I don’t get involved… she can handle herself way better than I can…"

He chuckles. "I always steer away from drama, from fights. I’m not about that."

With one final deep breath, he finishes his thought.

"I wanted to tell her right after… but I kept holding it back, just… waiting for the perfect time. And when that question popped on the challenge… and I was the guy with most partners, I figured she’d think I’m a player…"

He stares at his thighs, mumbling to himself.

"I’m not a player… but I figured she would think that… and I understand why she would…"

Gary’s eyes avoid the camera, his lips perched as he waits for the green to flash, and when it does, he gets up, ready to leave.

~~

Day 16 – a couple of days after the girls were sent to Casa Amor.

Gary walks in, panting, his chest exposed. He’s not wearing a shirt, and his chest and forehead are dripping sweat.

He grabs a couple of tissues to dry himself.

"Sorry… about that." he tosses the tissues in the garbage can on the corner. "You gotta keep the muscles, right?"

He takes a seat, his lips sealed, and his eyes lost on the floor. He keeps staring at the ground, after reading the first card.

“How do you feel about the girls being in Casa Amor?”

His voice cracks, and he rubs his eyes with his index finger and thumb.

"I don’t know what to think."

There’s a tone of frustration on his voice. "I’m not even coupled up with… like… that whole recoupling was a disaster… I don’t know what she’s thinking right now…"

He chokes with his words, as a couple of tears fight their way to roll on his cheek.

"I just… I just don’t want her to think I’m… over…" his voice cracks again. "… over her, you know…?"

He’s unable to fight back, and a lot of tears stream down his face, as he tries to speak again, his voice drops to a loud whisper.

"I miss her…"

Gary buries his face in his hands, trying not to lose control, but it’s stronger than him.

He then hugs his knees, placing his feet on the couch, with his head between his legs.

His chest keeps rising fast, as he tries to breathe. There’s a mumble coming from him, but it’s impossible to understand it.

After a couple of minutes, he’s still rubbing his face on his knees, this time, his legs are twitching with nervous energy.

He tries to talk again but is interrupted by a voice coming from behind the camera.

"Hey, chico, you alright…?"

He nods, but it’s hard to tell. His face is still buried.

The sound guy drops the boom mic, proceeding to go around the couch, patting Gary on his shoulder, trying to give him some reassurance.

"It’s gonna be ok… you’ll see…"

He then grabs the tissue box from a side table near, poking Gary’s arm with it.

"Here… take it…"

As Gary grabs the box, the sound guy goes back to his position, pulling the boom mic up.

"Sorry…" he sniffs violently. "… about that."

There’s a different voice coming from behind the camera, saying “don’t be sorry”.

The second guy, on the corner of the beach hut, brings him some water. Gary drinks it all in one gulp.

"Thanks…" he sniffs again, this time, wiping more tears.

He recovers, now able to take a deep breath, and sits straight, grazing his palms on his thighs intensely.

There’s a little shaking motion on his arms and hands, and he keeps breathing heavily.

As his face loses the red tone, gradually, he proceeds to speak again. His voice, a little shaken.

"It was really nice of her to come and say goodbye… even though that might mean she gets a penalty or something… that’s…"

He stops again, more tears coming down, this time, silent.

"It’s the only thing that keeps me… you know…"

He doesn’t finish his sentence, trying to catch his breath.

There’s still one card left on the table, but the screen flashes the green light, letting him go.

Before he does, a sound guy comes to him, giving him a hug, patting on his back.

"Don’t worry chico… everything is gonna be alright."

He searches for Gary’s eyes, a little worried, holding him by the shoulders.

Gary then tries to smile, and nods silently, leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

~~

Day 17 – It’s nighttime, and Gary goes to the Beach Hut.

There’s no text requiring Gary to go in, but he does it anyway.

He walks in, looking at both corners of the room in turns, then goes behind the camera, and you hear a gasp, followed by Gary’s muffled voice.

Next, it’s the sound guy’s voice, also muffled.

"So, you’re doing alright, chico?"

"Mate!" – the sound of Gary walking to the other side is loud. "You lads have no idea!"

After the second gasp, and a couple of muffled laughs, Gary walks by the camera, staring at it for a moment, and beaming.

He doesn’t speak, but he mouths.

“She’s back… and she’s alone.”

The laughter from behind the camera makes Gary’s cheeks reach a warm red tone.

He nods to both corners, mouthing “thank you”, leaving the Beach Hut, closing the door behind him.


	2. When you think it's calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gary is now in front of difficult decisions, islanders leaving, new bombshells coming in.  
> There's drama, storms, new people, screaming, fights, recouplings.  
> And his date with Hannah.

On day 18, people were submitted to a popularity contest with the public, where four couples were indicated to be saved or dumped by their fellow islanders. Lottie decided to save Noah, taking that option off the table for you. Bobby saved Hope, leaving Priya endangered.

Gary jumped on his feet after getting his text. Since he was the last single boy, he had to make a choice between Chelsea, a new girl, or Priya, a veteran of the house.

He decided to give Chelsea a chance, automatically eliminating Priya from the game.

At last, yours was the last decision to be made, and you picked your former partner, even if they decided to switch to Blake, on the night before. Just like Gary gave Chelsea a chance to stay in the villa, you felt like you should do the same. Both made the same mistake, and it wasn’t nothing to give them one more chance.

On the morning of day 20, after getting up, dizzy and staggering across the bedroom, Gary walked towards the bathroom to do his morning routine. No one else was up, but he got an early text to answer some questions in the beach hut.

As soon as he was finished, he stepped in the little room on the outside, taking a seat on the small couch in front of the camera.

“Good evening everyone!” sarcastically and winking at one of the people managing the camera, he picks up a stack of cards in front of him. “Alright, let’s answer this stuff!”

His brows immediately raise. “Not playing around I see… ‘Why did you decide to save Chelsea instead of Priya? Was it personal?’ Oof.” Gary fans himself with the question, licking his lips for a moment. “You know… after everything that happened with Noah and Hope, and the whole thing about Priya trying on, I don’t know. I saw how Noah was after the birds left and I felt… well, I felt bad for him. We were almost in the same spot. He missed Hope a lot and wouldn’t shut the fuck up about her.” He sighed. “To keep the peace in the villa, I thought Chelsea would be the least of the evils.”

As he throws the card on the table, he reads the next one. “How are you feeling about your new couple? Any chance that will work out?” a chuckle escapes him before he can stop himself. “Nah… Chelsea is a close mate. If the situation were different, maybe I would consider. She’s really fun, fit, funny. But after the girls got back… there was only one girl I wanted to see… and it wasn’t her.”

With a careful light hand, he places the question on top of the other, proceeding to read the third one. “How do you feel about your former partner saving someone who switched on her? Do you think she made the right call?”

Gary’s head shakes with low energy as he stares at his lap. “I… I guess I can’t really say anything on the matter. I’m not exactly thrilled she made that choice, but that’s what it is. Her choice. I made mine…” he stammers for a couple of seconds, staring the card down, his eyes closing slowly with a deep breath. “She made hers.”

The light on the screen flashes a bright green, leading Gary out of the Beach Hut.

That afternoon, Gary was taken on a date, by Jo, the new girl that arrived with another bombshell, Elisa. The night was filled with gossip, conflicts and Shannon’s screams echoing in the villa.

Gary and the other boys took Ibrahim to the bedroom, to keep him away from the conflict, but after a while, even the crane operator was sick and tired of the yelling, moving to the kitchen, to try and stop it.

Before he could, he saw you by the kitchen entrance, bored out of your mind. And after the [ conversation ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28043442) you had, he moved on to the bedroom, to have another night of sleep with Chelsea.

~~

In the afternoon of day 22, at the beach hut, Gary receives a text, requesting his presence to answer more questions.

“Hi.” It’s a simple tone but somehow excited. “Let’s do this.” He takes a seat on the cushion, adjusting his shorts so he can have the stack of questions in his hand. “After your date with a different girl, Jo, how is your head? Has it turned at all?”

Gary mimics a thoughtful gesture, placing his fist under his chin but immediately laughs. “Nah! Jo and I had a good time on the date. Never thought I would say I like being pampered… but no. Besides, we didn’t click like that, no.” he then shells his mouth with the card, looking pointedly at the camera. “She and Ibrahim on the other hand? Phew…”

With a flourish and a grin, he tosses the card on the coffee table in front of him. “Second question… ‘How was the lads’ day off?’… ha!” his shoulders heave with laughter. “It was… um… ok, it might’ve been my hatred for the guy, but I could’ve sworn Lucas was being funny about a future with her?” he tilts his head back, shaking his head. “I mean… she saved him, sure, but like… is she talking about a future? With him? ‘cause last I checked she knew where I stand, and if that happens, someone will call an ambulance for him and the police for me.” He shrugs with a mischievous look on his face. “I’m kidding… unless…”

As he picks up the third card, he reads it tentatively before answering. “How did you feel seeing your former partner cooking with the boy she saved? Were you jealous?”

Gary rubs his eyes, keeping his fingers on the corners, shaking his head lightly. “Oh, dear lord.” It seems his playful persona disappeared for a second there. “I-I… it’s not that I’m jealous!” his arms raise so he does a surrendering motion with his hands. “I just… don’t understand… why him? And why did she have to make my second favorite?!” his eyes go wide with shock looking pointedly at the camera. “That was a slap across the face!”

With a blunt toss, he reads from the last card. “Was your conversation on the roof terrace last night helpful?”

He can’t help a large grin, slowly spreading across his lips. For a moment, his eyes stared forward, and the smile followed the timing. “I… yes. Yes, it was.”

He keeps nodding while looking at the card in his hands, then taps it on his chin. “It was… we needed that, I reckon. It’s been a while since we talked about us and… well, I just needed to know she was in the same place, do you know what I mean? It was… productive.”

And the playful persona was back. At last, the screen flashes, alerting him to go.

~~

On day 24, in the morning, Gary receives a text to go on a date with a mystery islander. His heart was beating as fast as Bobby could shove six cupcakes in his own mouth. It was no joke. After so many storms and grey days in the villa, finally, his journey was taking a turn for the good.

He didn’t need anything disrupting that.

That wasn’t, however, on the producers’ to-do list. The more drama, the merrier, and Gary was about to face one detail from his biggest decision in the villa. The text alerted him of a date, and a following message came through with details of where to go and what directions to follow.

The villa’s entrance was facing a giant grassy field, courtesy of the enormous terrain the house belonged to. Usually, the dates would take place on a few yards from the stone path that leads to the mansion’s gates.

The sun wasn’t quite set to burn, but it sure was hot that morning.

Or was it his concern about this date that made him feel warm?

He was finally in a couple that he felt comfortable, and he wouldn’t let anything ruin that. He didn’t go through hell, temptation, hot girls hitting on him and he, sleeping on the outside, being devoured alive by mosquitoes, to let one miserable date ruin his whole couple.

He was determined.

So determined, he had his fists closed.

But just as quick, they were about to get loose, like the feeling of knowing what was about to happen. That was the third time he was invited to a date, and that’s something, considering girls don’t give him a second look on the outside.

Gary walked towards a table, in the middle of the freshly cut grass, on the field, just a few yards from the villa entrance. He felt it was the wrong choice to wear his black and white flannel. “Why am I wearing flannel? There’s no air conditioning here.” He thought, muttering under his breath, regretting his outfit choice.

The setting was a white linen tablecloth, placed on top of a square surface, and on it, a pitcher of mimosa, two flutes and a basket with bread sticks and a plate of olives. There was an empty chair, and sitting across it, he noticed a full head of wavy hair, naturally red.

His steps gave away his presence, and before he could open his mouth to say ‘hi’, his date got up and stood on her high heels. Gary’s brows and eyes moved up, so up on his face it was difficult to hide his astonishment.

“Hannah?!”

“Hi.” With a discreet smile behind her greeting, Hannah stayed in place. Her freckled skin now with an unusual, tanned tone was glowing from the highlighters on her cheeks. A little too much under the sunlight. She had a new hairdo, a new style of clothing, at least the dress wasn’t her to-go prior to her departure. She stood in a stance for a moment, before taking steps to close the gap between them, throwing her arms on his shoulders, pulling him into a hug. “How are you, handsome?”

“I’m…”

Puzzled? Shocked? Lost? Confused? And every other adjective that serves the expression “HUH?!” Stunned, Gary raised his arms, automatically, hugging her back. “I’m… ok, I guess.” After the brief embrace, and pulling away, he couldn’t help noticing her pose. It was something similar to what you, Hope or Lottie would do. Of course, in your case, it came naturally.

For some reason, it didn’t look inherently done by her. Maybe it was her nerves, almost reaching the surface, but her lip was quivering with excitement. Was it the fact that she was so different when she left, or that it was simply… not her? Gary couldn’t tell.

“Well, what do you think?” Hannah looked at him, expectantly, a smug smile as she waited for his response, one hand on her waist, the other propped on the table.

“Y-you… you look great!” Gary fought his instinct of shrugging after speaking, and just as fast as he ignored his own reflexes, his mind rushed to the day before, a few minutes after the storm. If he didn’t regret his words then, he surely does now.

“That’s a weird coincidence if I ever lived one!” he thought to himself, following her gesture to take a seat.

“So, tell me…” her speech was more eloquent, firm. Even her voice was different. Louder. More decisive, almost… seductive? Perhaps even sexier? Gary couldn’t believe the change of heart, but it wasn’t bad. “And then I came here! Weird right?!” she threw her hands with a flourish, giggling before taking a sip of her glass.

“It sure is!” he raised his flute, lost in his own thoughts, not a single word she said really penetrated his ears, which were buzzing and annoying. “My god, this is gonna be a shit show!” he thought, nodding as she told him some funny, funny anecdote, according to her. “The girls are gonna flip the fuck out!” his brain was way more talkative than he was, making observations of what he was expecting to happen once he walked in with her though those gates.

“But enough about me!” was that her perky voice? It was certainly weird. “What about you? Still on that same train from when I left?”

Of course she was referring to you, but not saying your name? Not only rude, but unnecessary. And despite his politeness, Gary couldn’t help noticing the neglect. “Well, yeah. Pretty much.” He nibbled on one of the breadsticks, humming, thinking to himself how he should do this. Should he go for it, tell her all about your summer romance? Brag about your situation and how optimistic he was feeling? How it hurt when you weren’t around? Or should he just stay quiet and respond politely? In the worst-case scenario, it’s important to have friends in the villa. “See, I think we really fit together, you know?”

Hannah tilted her head to the side with a pitiful look. “You think so?” It was clear she wasn’t playing around, and as she caught his eyes, she cringed lightly. “You really think you’re a good couple?”

“Why do you ask? You don’t think so?” he gestured with his flute, taking a large sip, avoiding the glances of pity she shot him.

“I just… I mean, Gary, honey, I can’t lie. You guys are not the public’s favorite.” She raised her manicured finger, luring him closer, whispering with a flirty grin. “Everyone saw you…”

“Saw me…?” with a confused expression, he craned his head forward.

“Yes, silly! You said you were…” she sighed “… wondering… about you and me.” After a graceful sip of her mimosa, she flipped her hair behind her shoulder with another attentive smile. “So… I guess you kept people wondering…”

Gary spluttered his drink, sending droplets all over the linen tablecloth. “Oh, my god! You saw that?!”

Her grin stayed large and mischievous, and as she joined hands on the table, elbows propped on the surface, her gaze was now fixated on his. “Yes. Yes, I did. And honey…” she reached for his hand, stroking his knuckles as she spoke with a caring voice. “It’s ok. I feel like-…”

Before she could finish, Gary’s instincts hit, stopping her with a booming laugh. “I’m so glad you agree! We definitely are better as friends!” he perched his lips, pulling his hand away, cleaning the sleeves of his flannel with a napkin, and the other items that got wet. “I mean, yes, I said that… but I don’t…” he stopped himself, afraid of hurting her feelings. That wouldn’t be the first time he would have her upset, and he couldn’t bear with another disappointed look from her.

Hannah’s voice went weak, but she recomposed herself, clearing her throat. Still, she stammered, visibly nervous. “Y-you… you seemed pretty in doubt, honey.” Both of her hands rested under her chin, her fingers twined and her lips pouted almost with a childish nuance to them, the bright lipstick impossible to miss. “I just…it would be a tragedy to waste a potential like this, wouldn’t it?” her eyes gleamed as they changed into mischief again.

“Who was this girl?” Gary thought to himself. It wasn’t Hannah from day 1. That girl was trembling with awkwardness when sharing a bed with Bobby. The same girl that got terrified by toes and recited poetry just seconds before leaving.

Where was that girl?

Where was the sweet, intelligent, afraid of confrontations Hannah?

Gary was dumbfounded. No one changes that quickly, and not that radically in so little time. His mind was rushing with images from your possible reaction once you saw her again. He couldn’t help wondering about the drama lurking, and now, he was even more afraid.

Because if Hannah was the girl to take him on a date, who was the person courting you at that same moment?

If she wasn’t playing around, then he could only assume the guy sharing mimosas with you wasn’t either.

He had to make sure Hannah knew what he’s about, and still not hurt her. Should he tell the truth?

“L-listen, Hannah…” how would he say something that made the idea sink in, and her understand what he meant? “I’ll be honest with you. I-I…” he stuttered with nerves and apprehension but was able to clear his throat, almost not able to look her in the eye. “I didn’t think about you until a couple of days ago.”

Her face fell but she quickly gave him a yellow smile, tilting her head forward. “What? What did you say?”

“Well…” he let out a sharp breath, playing with the twining of the bread basket. “D-di… did you see Jo? The girl that came to the villa a few days ago?”

“Yeah…?”

“Well, she took me on a date… and we… we talked for a while.”

She licked her lips, confused. “Ok. I didn’t see it, but…” Hannah sighed, slightly defeated. “what does that have to do with us?”

Gary was embarrassed, now fiddling with one of your hair ties on his wrist, her blue eyes following his moves, disheartened by what he was playing with. “And she told me how brutal it was when you left. How… well, your disappointment about Lottie and me...” Hannah’s eyes teared up, but she quickly wiped under them, keeping her makeup intact, listening to his words, closely. He couldn’t help but perch his lips. “I didn’t think much of it or how you must’ve felt, but lately, I’ve been rethinking some moments I had in here, and I guess… I don’t know… I wondered what it could’ve been between you and me… because if I didn’t, what kind of man would I be?”

“I’m not sure I’m following you…” she narrowed her eyes, mouth agape.

“I…” he twisted his lips, embarrassed. “I thought if you saw it… then you just feel…” you could hear that dry swallowing of his from a mile away. “… I just wanted you to feel better.”

“Oh…”

Ouch.

The girl’s manners suddenly disappeared. Her elegant, powerful posture and her bright eyes suddenly fell. What was the ‘fashionable new Hannah’ was now ‘the innocently dressed in blush pink Hannah’, from the first day. “Wow… I…”

Ouch. Again. Gary doesn’t always know what to say, and that’s when he hurts people. He tries his best to think before speaking but it’s just as hurtful, so he stays quiet. If there’s one thing he hates is to break a girl’s heart. He learned that from a very young age and has been that type of boy ever since.

“So…?” she kept searching for an answer on his eyes, but it wasn’t a pleasant feeling when she found it. “Oh…” when realization finally dawned on her, her gaze got lost on her own hands, placed on both sides of the table, grabbing the edges as she stared at her own flute. “You…” she licked her lips, her brows furrowing into awkwardness. “You didn’t mean it, did you?”

He shook his head, his tongue probing the side of his inner cheek. “I thought… that would make you feel better. If you were watching. Maybe… I don’t know what I thought, really.”

“You.. thought that… that… that would…” a stammer and a disbelief of look later, Hannah kept it together. Her voice was softly hurt, enough to make him feel guilty. “You… you pitied me?”

“No! Of course not!”

“It sounds like you did…”

“Hannah, please…” Gary didn’t know how to comfort a girl, and the last time he did, he ended up hurting four of them. Better not to reach out and let things spiral out of control. “You… I didn’t know you were gonna be back.”

“Yeah…” frustrated, but still with a low and muted tone, she proceeded, clearing her throat. “Gary. Honestly… sometimes…” Hannah hesitated, as if she was trying to find something to comfort herself, something that would put an end to the conversation that took such a horrible, and unexpected turn. Maybe something that could keep her dignity in the process. “I guess…” she raised her head from her lap, still playing with her bracelet, but her breathing going back to normal. If she was leaving that table with him, she wasn’t gonna earn another pitiful look. “I believe it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.”

Gary was clearly lost, but if he learned anything from her mannerisms in the brief time they knew each other, that was a quote from a famous author. “Is that from an author?” he asked, ashamed for not knowing it.

“Yes…” She answered, ashamed for being so predictable. “…yes, it is.”

With a smile, Gary raised his glass, offering hers. “I like it. I try to keep it real, and I guess the truth is always the best medicine, right?”

Hannah took her flute between her fingertips, opening her mouth to correct him, but mid motion, she stopped. He was smiling, relaxed. That was the first time he acted like that in her presence. If anything, it was progress.

With a clink of her glass on his, she smiled. “Agreed.”

“Now…” he took a final gulp of his cocktail, chuckling. “Why don’t we talk about what you’ve been up to. Let’s… leave all this recoupling business behind us, yeah?” he extended his hand across the table, timidly. “F-friends?”

She nodded slowly, placing her empty glass next to the full plate of olives. “Yes. Of course.”

They shook it on friendship, but her grin was unmistakably impish.

The date went by, some moments it seemed like Hannah was relaxed, and in others, her powerful stance would make a sneaky appearance. Between the tales she told Gary in midst laughter and friendly glances, they received a text, warning about the date coming to an end.

As she got up, he took her hand, linking arms to walk back to the villa.

The sun was peeking and, as they advanced on the path, Gary saw, on the corner of his eye, the empty table across the field. “Are they back already?” he couldn’t stop a hiss with trepidation under his breath. “I’m fucked!”

“What was that sweetie?” Hannah asked, leaning over just enough to stay in whisper shot.

“Nothing…” he glanced back. “Nothing at all…”


	3. The final days

On day 25, in the morning, the group was still hearing tales of the outside, on a communal breakfast, at the firepit. A chime comes from Gary’s phone, interrupting his focus on the tales Hannah and Henrik were telling about the outside. Apparently, people were having fun with the news yesterday, but mostly, about the fact that Hope and Noah were caught in one of the cupboards, doing huge bits. No one got over that one.

“Gross!” Ibrahim said, rubbing his eyes, reluctantly.

“It’s only human mom and dad here have a little fun!” Bobby drapes both arms, one on each of Noah’s and Hope’s shoulders, luring a deep and disgusted sigh from both. “Oh, now you’re embarrassed! Please!”

“I… gotta go.” Gary reads the text, glancing at you, shooting you a cheeky wink. Before you knew, he was already heading out of the firepit, immediately taking off his flannel, tying it up around his waist.

The beach hut wasn’t far from there, just a few steps to the side, so it was possible to see whenever someone was stepping in. He was turning the knob on the door, carefully, walking in, having an immediate sensation of relief. “Saint air conditioning!” he felt the cold breeze hit the strands of his hair, almost stamped to his forehead, due to his sweat, welcoming him in. “That’s much better!”

You could hear a very muffled chuckle.

As he takes a seat, the cards are already splayed out in front of him, ready to be picked, and as he does, he reads it rapidly. “Were you surprised when Hope told you about a certain someone wanting to couple up with you?” he chuckles the last couple of words, radiantly. “Listen, now… I waited what it seems to be fucking eternity! If I told you it was, I would be lying. I was hoping that would happen, and I was really glad she wanted the same thing. She’s mine now…” he grins with a wink. “… that recoupling was everything we needed, and we can finally share a bed.” He scratches his brow, faking a yawning. “I wasn’t able to sleep at all last night…”

A smile to himself later, Gary picks up the second question. “How did you feel during the “Heart Rate” challenge? Why didn’t you perform like you did on “Mr. Love Island” contest?”

Gary blows a raspberry, fanning himself as he remembers your moves during the challenge. “Mate, mate, mate. You lot really want to make a man kiss and tell, huh?” he bites his bottom lip, thinking back to the roof terrace. “That heart monitor was about to explode. God, that woman is out to kill me…” he agitates the card more intensely, making small locks of his hair swing with the gusts. “When she sat on my lap? Oof!” he mimics an exaggerated shudder but shivers uncontrollably. “She was the fittest, the hottest and let’s face it, the most talented in that game! Now… you know, she asked me the same thing, about just putting a chapstick on.”

Gary leans forward, the smuggest grin in his lips. “if I had danced, that would’ve been cute, but… everyone was expecting that. Making her angry? A completely different story! And she did get her revenge…” The imagery of your outfit slipping up your leg lures a cheeky grin as he bites a soft moan away, shaking his head, letting out what it seems a build up breath. “Unreal, mates. Unreal.”

He reaches for the third card, anxious to read it out loud. “Let’s see… ‘How do you feel with Hannah back?’. Ai ai ai.” Gary hisses with a stretched chin, nodding as he keeps his eyes on the small, printed letters. “I’m not gonna lie, it was a shock for me! Hannah coming back, all different? I don’t know, bruv, it looked…” he seems to give it a second thought before continuing, tapping the card on his temple. “I know she’s probably disappointed, but it’s not like we could ever work it out. Some things are just… not meant to be.” He shrugs with a smug smile, picking up another card with a wink. “And you can quote me on that.”

His eyes run on the new card, his grin quickly turning into a genuinely alarmed expression. “Is this…” he rereads it, now slower, then proceeds to read its content out loud. “How is your partner feeling about you and Hannah? Are you having a hard time to make a decision for the next recoupling?

His mouth opens and closes successively, trying to make out words, but failing right after. “I… what?” he reads the card once more, as if he was trying to pick up on a word he left unread, or perhaps there was more to the question and he didn’t see it. He couldn’t believe the words printed. “What the hell? Of course not! I’m not having second thoughts! Hannah is not the girl I want.” He puffs. “I don’t know why y’all are getting your pants ruffled about, but I have no intentions of picking her! I even planned on…” he stops himself, licking his lips, taking a deep breath, his voice going back to its usual calm tone. “I even have something planned out for today. Something… kinda special.”

Gary tosses the card on the table, picking up another one, his expression a little distraught, and without flourishes, he reads the final question. “How was the Welcome party for Henrik and Hannah? Was your partner upset about it?”

He leans towards the back rest of the small couch, exhaling sharply, clutching his jaw with a shred of disbelief in his eyes, his gaze on the hair ties on his wrist. “I thought it was fun, now I don’t know…”

He seems genuinely upset, and a little baffled by the question. “’Cause from where I was standing, everyone was having fun!” his eyes get lost as he narrates the moments he can remember from the night before. “I mean, Lucas, Hannah and I were having a great time splashing around! I don’t know why… I… and then we danced! That was it!”

Gary’s voice almost faded into silence as he finished his statement. He grabbed the back of his neck, staring at the card in his other hand, mumbling as his brows would furrow. “Because it was all supposed to be fun. And she said she didn’t care... I mean, why would she? I’m just…”

His head was hanging back as he took a deep, loud breath, huffing with violence. “I know the birds were whispering under their breath, but just because they did, it doesn’t mean it’s true! Hope can’t get a grip when it’s other people, Marisol loves to see everything burn, and for fuck’s sake, why would she listen to Lottie!? She clearly wants to fuck with us!”

The card was thrown on the pile, disrupting the others, and his annoyance was visibly building up. As the green light flashes, he jumps to his feet, without a second glance, leaving the cramped, cold room, closing the door behind him.

He didn’t know if he should head outside to join the others, but after the questions he got, he wasn’t too perky about it. Heading to the dress room, and putting his jeans and shirt on a pile of clothes in his cupboard, he notices Lottie walking in, apparently texting, distracted.

“Hey!”

His booming voice is startling, making her jump on her tracks. “Oh my god, Gaz! No need to yell.” But just as fast, she smiles, walking towards the spot he stands. It doesn’t seem he’s in the mood for jokes. “Are… are you ok?”

For the longest three weeks of his life, Gary has been biting his tongue. He was trying his best to stay out of trouble, because the last time he didn’t, he threw a punch on a bloke’s chin and spent two days in jail. Along with Dicky. But this is a story for another time.

For the whole period he was in the villa, engaging with one girl, she had dropped hints about Lottie’s advances, or her poisonous words. And the makeup artist wouldn’t hesitate to mistreat her, treating her coldly, or simply calling dibs on him while away. And sometimes, in the villa.

Why? They were never a couple, and the only thing that stood out was, indeed, a kiss.

But that was his gaffe. Gary did make a mistake about the kiss and proceeded to make terrible decision after terrible decision, of not talking about it. He was never good at it. Not really.

On the outside, in his normal life, sure, he was blunt, direct, but that was limited to his work site, his work colleagues, and maybe, to Dicky. Never did he do something to hurt a girl on purpose. Or by accident.

He would always avoid touchy subjects because he couldn’t deal with them when it came to girls. But if he could do that to poor Hannah yesterday morning, then he could pull his thoughts, and shit together, and let Lottie know what he should’ve told her, many days ago.

With a gesture, he invites her to take a seat on the white trunk, by the edge of the bed, in front of him. Her expression quickly turns into a bright and excited one. Gary doesn’t wait and removes his glasses, anxiously playing with the hinges. “Listen Lottie, about tonight…”

“Yes… about tonight…?” she stares under her lashes, her intense green eyes almost trying to draw him in. “What… what about it?” Lottie puts a strand of her hair behind her ear, biting her lip, visibly eager.

“I…” he clears his throat. “I know who’s gonna pick me…” he licks his lips, a crease between his brows. “… and I don’t want that to change.”

“W-what?” her face falls by the second with each word coming from his mouth, her cheeks reaching a deep tone of shame. “What d-do you mean?”

Gary rubs the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes. “Lottie… I… I should’ve said this before. Way before today, I guess.”

This was it. The moment he clearly dreaded for three weeks, trying his best to avoid the confrontation, the awkwardness, the possibility of Lottie taking a lock of his hair and transforming him into a real gorilla.

With a final exhale, Gary’s voice gains firmness. “I… don’t want to be with you.”

Her eyes searched for his, blinking fast, almost as if she was glitching. “What?”

“I… don’t. I should’ve told you weeks ago. And even though we never talked about it, I guess I always knew, deep down, how you felt.” He grabs his own shoulder, a little ashamed. “But I don’t want to be with you. We had a… moment, weeks ago, and that was it. I thought I made myself clear about it, but… it’s… that’s on me. I should’ve talked about that kiss when Chelsea told everyone, and I didn’t. That’s my fault. I was trying to… I don’t know, stay away from drama.”

“Stay away…” her voice barely makes the first two words.

“And I don’t want you to think I don’t like you. It’s just… you’re a friend. But that’s all. The kiss…” Gary’s mind rushes back to how uncomfortable it was to tell Hannah the truth, or Chelsea, or you. It didn’t give him the final boost he needed, but seeing the face Hannah made, at the end of the date helped. “… it didn’t mean anything. And I thought you knew that. We said it was just something that happened that day, and it would stay in that day. But…”

“So… we…”

Now is the time for the bluntness and Gary hates it. He knows things won’t stay the same, and despite being what he wants, it’s also hurtful to hear what he’s about to say. He had out himself in her shoes for too long. It was time to let her know.

“There’s no ‘we’.”

It was distressing but it needed to be said. Otherwise, Lottie would always cling on the hope of getting him one day, and that wasn’t fair to anyone. Not to her, not to you.

“There’s me… and there’s the girl I want to pick me, tonight. The girl that I want to leave this place with.”

It’s clear she has arguments to throw around. She’s restless, taking short breaths, as if planning her next words. It’s excruciating to watch. “Don’t you think we deserve a chance of…”

“Lottie, I love her!” If his words didn’t startle her into understanding before, that blurt out surely did. Her eyes were widening as her mouth was opening, but not a single full word was coming out. “I’m sorry to tell you like this. In fact, I wasn’t gonna tell anyone until I could say it to her… but…”

Half blinks and quivering lip. An image of Lottie Gary never thought he would see. She let out a shaky breath, gripping her phone with such strength, her fingertips were going paler. “It’s…” she rubbed her temples, sniffing, shaking her head with incredulity. “I can’t believe you waited this long to tell me!”

“What are you talking about?!” he jumps from his spot, gesturing to her. “We were never a thing… ever. I don’t…”

She stops him with a hand raised, getting up. “Right.” Without a second thought, Lottie furiously heads to the bedroom door.

“Lottie! Come on!” he reaches for her shoulder, but she shrugs off his hand.

“It’s fine.”

“Clearly, it isn’t. You’re not ok.”

“I will be.” She turns her head enough so Gary can see her eyes watering. He couldn’t believe it. “Congratulations, I guess.” Within a second, Lottie pulls the door, banging it behind her, no second glimpse.

“Oof…”

He raises his hands to his eyes, rubbing them with resolve. Finally, it happened. It wasn’t pretty, or like a rom com resolution. Not that he expected anything like that, but at least, it’s done now.

He takes a seat on his bed, letting his body naturally fall on the duvet, turning to lie on his side. A smile suddenly takes place as he looks at your pillow, your name engraved on the case. He had never confronted a girl before, never made a girl cry.

Never even thought he would need to do it.

It was necessary. Either that, or you, putting up with snarky comments and unwanted advances coming from people that had no considerations for your feelings or your relationship.

Saying it to Lottie, to make her understand how he felt about you was easy.

How would he tell you later?

~~

The compatibility challenge happened in that afternoon, leading Gary to tell you he loves you. The recoupling, at night, was gonna be uncomfortable, to say the least. The nerves were going all around, and as per usual, Hope was making it about herself.

The words ‘nervous’, Noah’, ‘tonight’ and ‘ugh!’ were the predominant in that dressing room, along with people comforting her, for some reason. Neither you or Gary ever understood why, but in the midst of so many emotions, that was the least of your concerns.

The dressing room was full on, hair dryers, brushes flying, lipsticks and colorful tubes all spread out across the vanities’ spots, girls chatting animatedly, except for one.

Gary made his way through the muddle, quickly picking up his outfit left in one of the drawers, shooting you a wink before closing the door behind him. The last thing he heard, in the hallway, was a sea of screams, congratulating you for the afternoon. All except Lottie’s, but he wasn’t holding his breath for that perky reaction, neither was you.

Lower excited voices were heading that way, coming from the lawn. “What the hell is happening in there?!” said Bobby, draping an arm on Gary’s shoulder.

“Well…” he waited for the boys to huddle closer after his signal. “After the challenge…”

Ibrahim interrupted, slapping his friend’s stomach, playfully. “Yeah, you were nowhere to be found, bruv!”

“Hm… where were you, Mr. Rennell, and most importantly, were you wearing… protective suits?” Lucas’ grin was enough to spiral the boys into a laughter fit after he gave Gary’s pants a long look.

“Oh, just… shut the fuck up and listen, alright?!” he stopped, folding his arms on his chest. “I…” every pair of eyes was attentive, expectant, and curious. That wasn’t his usual way of telling people something so important. In fact, he was more used to having only Dicky to tell this sort of thing, and he can’t remember the last time he delivered this type of news.

He felt his heartbeats on his ears, bringing a genuine smile as he remembered your answer, now packing up his trembling voice to break the news. “I… um… I told her I love her.”

“What?!” Bobby was incredulous, covering his mouth. For a moment, there was an exchange of looks between him and the crane operator, but just as they did for the entire time, the telepathic conversation they had at that moment resulted in “Bruv… that’s…”

Everyone waited for the baker’s reaction before breaking into their own. Bobby’s lips perched and he held back his watering eyes, throwing his arms on Gary’s shoulders, pulling his friend into a bear hug.

With a silent permission, every other boy joined the two of them, turning the embrace into a group hug.

Gary couldn’t hear much as the guys were firing up jokes about leashes and prisons, but one thing was certain. His closest mate was ok with it, and that’s all he could hope for. “I’m really happy for you, mate.” Bobby said, pulling away but holding the back of Gary’s head. “I really am.”

They kept nodding at each other, trying to hold back, sniffing violently as they avoided a bigger demonstration of bromance.

Needless to say, Gary was carried out of the bedroom in a sea of hands holding him up, above the boys’ heads. The girls could barely hear the fuss going on outside with so much happening in that steamy, crumpled dressing room.

But as you heard Bobby’s raspy voice tuning a song that you and Gary knew quite well, your hands automatically opened the drapes for you to eavesdrop. Instead of listening, you saw a bunch of boys carrying your partner to the firepit, throwing him in the air, laughing and cheering him on.

~~

On day 27, at night, after winning the ‘Baby Challenge’, you were getting ready for the hideaway date you won as a prize. As soon as Gary gets out of the shower, his phone rings with a text.

He follows the path to the beach hut, carefully stepping in, still with his towel wrapped around his waist.

“Alright! What do we get?” the first card already causes a startle. “The public wants to know, how does it feel to open up about your body issues? You should know, your fans are supporting you, and waiting anxiously for you to leave the villa as a winner.”

It’s like an invisible punch knocked the air out of him. It takes a couple of moments for Gary’s eyes to stop tearing up. He wipes them on his forearm, sniffing, trying his best to keep it together. “Damn, you lot always go for the kill, don’t you?”

He has to take a minute to contemplate his possible answer. It was no easy task to deal with body and image issues, especially the ones that caused him an injury. Or two. He didn’t even realize people were watching him, listening to his story as he opened up to you that afternoon. Like Bobby said once, it’s easy to forget there’s cameras everywhere.

With a deep breath, and a couple of more tears, Gary admired the card in his hand, not letting go of it, perching his lips to avoid his misty eyes. “I… I guess it’s a good thing, ya know. To find someone you trust so much, you can tell them about this stuff…” he sighed, his lip quivering under a pursing motion. “… and not be judged by it. She was just… listening. I could tell she cared. And that’s…” he blows a raspberry with a relieved smile, still, mid tears rolling. “I feel lucky, it’s all.”

Even when he goes after the second card, he doesn’t let go of the first one. “Alright, let’s knock it off and move on… ‘did you have fun on the Baby challenge? How do you think your partner did?’. Ooh. That’s…”

He looks wistfully at his wrist, remembering when you handed him the doll to put back in the crib. “Man, I’m not gonna lie. I had loads of fun with her and that fake baby! I guess I just had some hard time… you know, to put it back. And if I’m completely honest with you…”

He shelled his mouth with the card, now smiling widely, trails of dry tears on his cheeks. “I didn’t think we stood a chance, but damn, I told y’all… she’s out to kill me, that one.” He exhales sharply, a massive grin taking place on his lips as he picks up the third and final one.

“Do you think you have a chance of winning?”

Gary tilts his head to the side, pensively, staring nowhere in particular. He could’ve been thinking about his answer, his time in the villa, in the last 48 hours you all had in that place, or simply what the Hideaway awaits tonight.

No one could tell what was going on in his head at that moment.

With a succinct nod, he licks his lips, one card still in his grip. “I don’t know. But if you ask me if I found what I was looking for…” he smiles to himself. “The answer is also ‘no’.”

As the screen flashes the usual warning, Gary makes a goofy bow, leaving the beach hut.

~~

Day 30. The last day of this journey was finally here, and after the prom last night, the crazy talks you had by the pool, one or two pointed looks, and many drinks to celebrate your speeches, the end was near.

You could see Chelsea, drained, sitting on the daybeds, trying to enjoy what it would be the last day of this season.

The nostalgia air was hitting every single islander, hovering the air, conversations about the ones who left, the ones who were dumped and caused them to be relieved, or the ones who left a mark and were still missed.

But nothing could beat the thumping of Gary’s heart today.

The last day of confessions was on, and after Bobby’s turn, he steps out, holding the door so the crane operator could take his place, on the small couch, one last time.

“Hey!”

He was so excited, and compared to the islanders all around, apparently, he was the only one. Even you were feeling the melancholy of realization that your adventure was coming to an end, and that setting was never going to be repeated.

No more Chelsea squealing in the morning, waking everyone up. No Lottie frowning at you and Gary, no more Bobby’s jokes about sex…

If you think of it, perhaps you wouldn’t miss everything.

But Gary was definitely pumped about leaving.

“First question. ‘Were you nervous about asking her to be your girlfriend?’' he blows a long and loud raspberry, raising his brows with excitement. “Damn right I was! I had to talk to her cousin about the whole thing, ya know. Wanted to make sure I was gonna say everything right.” He lets out a deep breath, fanning himself with the card. “But everything went alright. She said yes, then… we said ‘yes’ a bunch of times after that…'' he raised his eyebrows suggestively, enough to lure a slap from you if you were there. “But seriously. I really wanted this, and I… I got it. But yes, of course I was nervous. I almost dropped her on the way to the floatie!” he laughs nervously, grabbing the second card.

“Let’s see… ‘Did you think you would get this far in the game?’ Pff! No!” his response was almost automatic. “I had no idea I could be so… I don’t know. I really thought I was gonna be one of those guys who leave in the first week. Truth be told, I kinda left, then.”

Gary’s eyes stare at his fists, closed over his lap. “I’m here for a month now, and now that I think about that first week, the whole…” his voice changes to an explanatory tone as he cites items of an invisible list. “… you know, the whole drama, I really considered leaving, for a moment there. I missed my house, my nan, my mom. I missed the lads and the docks. I missed Dicky. Don’t tell him I said that!” he laughed, almost in a wistful way. “And I really thought about leaving. As much fun as I had those days, that only happened because I had good people next to me. ‘Cause if I had given up so soon, I would probably get the shit beat out of me by Bobby, Noah, Rahim…” he wipes a tear under his eye. “… her. This is why I knew I had to stay. I know people call them ‘sneaky kisses’ or… I don’t know, going behind a mate’s back, but I… I couldn’t stay away from her. And I know now she couldn’t stay away either.”

He inhales, biting his bottom lip. “I only stayed because of those moments. It was “shit, shit, shit, shit, a kiss. Shit, shit, shit, a laugh. Shit, shit, shit, my friends telling her to bench press me!” his laughter is light, careless, but still, he has a semblant of sadness. “But I did think about leaving on that first week. And when she chose me… I just… I snapped out of it. Bobby said he knew she was gonna pick me, and he was ok with that. I think that’s when I knew I could count on him, for real. First weeks are always ‘friends this’ and ‘friends that’, but to give up on the bird you like, to a bloke you know for a week?” Tears start rolling on his cheeks as he tries to contain them with his massive fingers. “That was… one of my highlights here, if I’m honest. And I couldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them. I would’ve been watching from home, seeing her getting with someone else, probably being happy and… damn… I wouldn’t be able to watch, I don’t think.”

Gary scratches his beard, swallowing dry as he sniffs once more. “Anyway. That’s um… that’s my answer.”

He picks the final card, holding it in a tight grip, an amused smile spreading across his face . “What did you mean by ‘no’ when referring to finding what you were looking for? Were you teasing the public?’ Ha! Right… no, I meant it.”

He adjusts himself on the couch, folding his arms over his chest, breathing deeply before continuing. “I thought I was gonna be made fun of. I was never really afraid of telling people about my nan.”

As he talks, his eyes tear up again, insistently. “I thought I was gonna find a bunch of jerks who would make fun of me because of it. Or because I’m just a crane operator who works on the docks. I thought… I thought many people in here were gonna be mean, and cruel. When I heard I was gonna be in the show, I thought about giving up, ‘cause I didn’t want to hear those things in here, too. That I don’t have money, or that I couldn’t say a word because I didn’t go to uni… or even that I’m too young to understand some things.”

Gary places his fist under his chin, his other hand rubbing his eyes, wet. “But I only found good people. I found friends that I want to keep for the rest of my life. People that made me feel welcome, that would make fun of my jokes, and not of me. I never thought I was gonna find friends in here… love? No fucking way. Not a chance. I haven’t been lucky on the outside, and I was afraid that was gonna happen in here, too, you know? That I wouldn’t be able to shake that ‘blokey’ image people have of me. That first impression that never goes away. So yeah, I definitely didn’t find what I thought I was gonna.”

He slips the cards on the table, sniffing, covering his face. For a moment, all you can hear is the muttering under his breath, blocked by his hands.

“If you ask me, I’m feeling really great no matter what happens tonight. ‘Cause I know I’ll have a good time when I leave. I’m hoping to have a good time when I leave this place. And I’m taking friends, brothers for life and…” he smiles, letting his hands stay on his lap, his face red and washed with tears still streaming down. “… and a great girl that I love and loves me. What else could a man want? I never thought I would be so lucky. I’m happy to be wrong about what I expected to find.”

It takes Gary a couple of moments to see the green light flashing in front of him. He tries his best to recompose as fast as he can. From the corner, you hear a low, muffled sniff. Coming in frame, sound guy signals for Gary to come closer, giving him a tight hug.

The public could see Gary’s chest rising and falling through the embrace, and as they pull away, they exchange a look before the employee takes his place behind the camera.

“Thank you… for your questions. I guess…” he shrugs with a smile, his lips trembling. “… we’ll see each other another time?”

He laughs to himself, nodding at the camera.

As he reaches for the doorknob, there’s a fuss on the outside, and before he could even step out, the boys were chanting something inaudible, but energetically. Bobby walks by, pulling Gary by his arm, taking him where the bunch is going.

He pulls the knob, a smile spreading across his lips, before he shuts the door behind him one last time.


End file.
